Tag: Paul

Enduring Friendship: Sticking Together in an Age of Unfriending

Bryan Loritts provides a great challenge to build relationships that last in his new book Enduring Friendships: Sticking Together in an Age of Unfriending. The book uses Paul’s New Testament letter to Philemon as a backdrop for thinking deeply about friendship. And it does challenge us to think deeply about our relationships. Onesimus, the slave to Philemon, who likely stole and then ran away from his servitude, making him deserving of severe consequences if not death. Philemon, the enslaver, and partner in the gospel with Paul. Paul, the missionary, who led both of these men to Christ and now pleads with them to do hard things for their relationship and for the glory of God.

  • He wants Onesimus to repent and go back and face his offended enslaver.
  • He wants Philemon to repent and receive Onesimus, not as a slave who stole from him, but as a brother who merits his embrace and partnership.
  • Paul himself wants to pay whatever is owed to Philemon. “Put it on my account.”

We don’t know “the rest of the story”, but can imagine that repentance was had, forgiveness was extended, and God was glorified, because Onesimus is later counted as a Bishop in the early church.

This book reminds us that relationships are hard but worth fighting for. And enduring relationships are costly and take courage to pursue through the messiness of life. What a mess the book of Philemon offers up. But what a beautiful picture of grace and forgiveness if Paul’s formula is lived out. The offender repents, the offended forgives, and the beauty of reconciliation is witnessed by all.

I wish I could say I didn’t have any tangled messes of relationships in my 49 years, but I can’t. I wish I could say that I’ve always done the right and hard thing for the sake of reconciliation. In ministry, the slights received often make us callous toward deep relationships and make it easier just to let people walk away or not make the journey back to the one we offended. People come and go. Sometimes close relationships are resisted because we begin to expect slights, disrespect, betrayal, and eventual departure. Enduring Friendships reminds us that relationships are worth it.

The key to it all of course is Jesus. He empowers us to forgive, to receive grace, and to repent. And he did the hardest thing of all so that we could experience reconciliation by offering up his own body on the cross.

Some great thinking and maturing to be stirred up by Bryan Loritts’ new book. Grab a copy.

Here’s a few of my favorite quotes:

  1. Soul-level friendship often feels like a full-time job with periods of bad compensation.
  2. The problem is relationships are drama, and I don’t mean that in a negative way. Whose life is not made up of mountaintops and deep valleys? If we’re not up for drama, we are not ready for relationships.
  3. A Christian who does not forgive is a contradiction in terms.
  4. There is no lasting friendship without grace.
  5. If you want to have sustained friendships over the course of your life, you must accept that you will at various points be Onesimus and Philemon – offender and offended.
  6. When we fail to allow for nuance and complication, we set the table for short-lived friendships that never resurrect from the graveyard of offense and betrayal.
  7. The journey of friendship is fraught with unavoidable hurt because those involved are marred by sin.
  8. Gossip is saying something behind a person’s back we would never say to a person’s face. Flattery is saying something to a person’s face we would never say behind their back.
  9. Pride is the #1 killer of friendship. Humility is the prime nourisher of healthy relationships.
  10. When we are at death’s door and inevitably stare into the rearview mirror of our lives, we will not take joy in our acts of retribution.
  11. An ungracious Christian is an oxymoron.
  12. Nothing illumines our witness and stands more in contradistinction to our world than when we fight to remain at the table of friendship with people who we have wronged and who have wronged us.

About Lane Corley

I am – Follower of Jesus Christ – Husband to the beautiful and patient Heather Corley – Father of three. – Church Planter/Church Planting Catalyst for Send Network – When I can, I’m reading, raised bed gardening, and on mission with my church. – Hoping to be helpful.

View all posts by Lane Corley

“…led by the Spirit of God…”

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“For as many as are being constantly led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.”  (Romans 8:14)

I recently heard of a Christian brother in a local church, who during a discussion on the Holy Spirit, expressed his fear of the Spirit.  Due to erroneous teaching he had received over the years and things he had seen, he had become afraid of the One who indwells him as a believer; the very Helper Jesus sent to him when he believed.

The Apostle Paul told us in Romans that we are to be constantly led by the Spirit of God.  The word “led” is the Greek word “ago” and according to Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words it means “to bear, bring, carry, lead,” and is translated by the verb “to lead”.  An example would be the act of leading about an animal at the end of a rope.  Rick Renner in his Sparkling Gems From The Greek says this about “ago”:

“An animal’s owner would wrap a rope around its neck and then “tug” or “pull” until the animal started to follow him.

“Pay careful attention to the “tugging” and “pulling” of the Holy Spirit in your heart. He is a Gentleman and does not force you to obey Him. He prompts you, tugs on your heart, and pulls on your spirit to get your attention. Sometimes His “tugs” may be so gentle that you almost miss them. But if you’ll develop your sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, He will gently “lead” you exactly where He wants you to go with your life.” (Emphasis mine)

Have you developed this sensitivity to the Helper?  If not, we pray that you will.

Our scripture goes on to say that those who are led by the Spirit, these are sons of God. In Galatians Paul says that while Israel was under the law of the Old Testament, they were considered “nepios”, an immature person who needed a guardian to look after them. The guardian was the law of the Old Testament.  But in Romans 8:14, Paul uses “huios” which signifies someone of full age; a mature person having outgrown the need for his former guardian.

In conclusion, we are living under God’s wonderful, unbelievable grace as born again children of God.  We have no need for the law because we have the Spirit of God living in us, vastly more powerful and effective than the law.  If you will, He is our guardian now. He is our source of godly desires and the power to do the will of God. He is grieved by our sins and wanderings. He is faithful to convict us of our sins and bring us to repentance. He will  never leave us or forsake us. Let us develop a sensitivity to his “tugs” and “pulling” so he can lead us in the way we should go. What wonderful provision God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ has made for those who trust in Jesus Christ.

Pay Close Attention To Yourself and The Holy Spirit

Carl

 

 

 

Part I : “Pay Close Attention To Yourself…”

Apostle Paul’s advice to Timothy concerning the born again person conforming to godliness.

In his first letter to Timothy, Paul tells him “If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, he is conceited and understands nothing…” (I Timothy 6:3) [Emphasis mine]

The Apostle Peter writing to believers stated the “doctrine conforming to godliness” as follows:

“As obedient children, do not be conformed to the formers lusts, which were yours in your ignorance but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; because it is written, “YOU SHALL BE HOLY FOR I AM HOLY.” And if you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each man’s work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay upon earth; knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ.” (I Peter 1: 14-19)

In other words, after a person is born again, if he is properly instructed in the truth, they, with the help of the Holy Spirit, will begin to purify their souls of defilement (sin):

“And everyone who has this hope fixed on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” (I John 3:3)

Over a period of time they will become more and more Christlike in their manner of living or conduct.

This process is known as progressive sanctification. Sanctification is the separation of the believer from evil things and ways. The Greek word from which sanctification comes from means “to make holy”. This sanctification is God’s will for the believer and His purpose in calling him by the gospel. It must be learned from God as He teaches it by His Word and it must be pursued by the believer, earnestly and undeviatingly, cooperating with the Holy Spirit who gives the desire and the power to accomplish it. The following scriptures witness to these truths:

I Thessalonians 4:3 says “This is the will of God, your sanctification…”

I Thessalonians 4:7 says “For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification.

I Thessalonians 4:4 says “…that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor”

The Lord Jesus said in John 17:17 as He prayed for His followers “Sanctify them in the truth; Thy word is truth.”

Philippians 2:13 says “…for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.”

Some who claim to be born again take the teaching on the grace of God too far. They believe that willful sinning is okay after salvation because “it is all under grace”. That they can live in fornication, impurity, immorality or other habitual sin and still be in fellowship with the Holy Lord Jesus and the Holy Father God is in direct opposite to what the Word of God teaches. Concerning these believers, it is truly as Paul told Timothy in the opening verse, “….he is conceited and understands nothing;…”. The Apostle John warns the recipients of his letter known as II John to “Watch yourselves that you might not lose what we have accomplished, but that you may receive a full reward. Anyone who goes too far and does not abide in the teaching of Christ, does not have God;…” (II John 1:8-9)

Our brother, the Apostle Paul, told Timothy to “Pay close attention to yourself” (I Timothy 4:16a) and “….discipline (i.e. train) yourself for the purpose of godliness;…” (I Timothy 4:7b).

Concerning godliness and after exhorting Timothy to “discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness…” Apostle Paul said “For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers.” (I Timothy 4:10) The man who the Lord Jesus used to write a large portion of the New Testament and He sent to preach the gospel to the Gentiles (that is you and me) was daily laboring and striving to be godly in his conduct. He knew the struggle and the temptations that come our way and learned how to overcome them with the Holy Spirit’s help.

Paul advised Timothy to “Pay close attention to yourself…”. We would be wise to heed his advice to Timothy. Apostle Peter exhorts us:

“Therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (I Peter1:13)

Let us keep sober in mind and spirit and not be drunk on the spirit of this world (Satan’s kingdom) where anything goes, no boundaries; as long as it makes me look good, meets my emotional needs, it is okay. Where, in a deceived state, I can act like a god (make my own rules) and walk in pride and arrogance toward God and His Word; be wise in my own eyes. Grieving the Holy Spirit by whom we were sealed for the day of redemption.

Instead, let us examine ourselves and see if there is any wicked way in us when compared with God’s Word and the Lord Jesus’ life. Not in a condemning way. “There istherefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”. (Romans 8:1) If we find ourselves in sin or with unconfessed sin, let us repent (i.e. agree with what God says about it and turn from it) and purpose not to do it again. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His Word is not in us. (I John 1:9-10)

Paul’s experience birthed this advice: “Pay close attention to yourself…”
My thoughts.
My words.
My actions .
What I am listening to.
What I am watching.
What I am entertained by.
What I am laughing at (a type of approval).
The motives behind my actions.
Is there any malice, wrath, anger?
Am I speaking truth or a lie?
Am I slandering someone?
Am I acting as a judge?
Am I walking in Pride? (Pride always sees the faults in others)
Am I being jealous?
Am I a manslayer? (“Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer…” I John 3:15)

And we could go on and on with this list. Each of us has areas we need to bring into submission to the Word of God. And as we study God’s word, He will reveal sin we are not even aware of.

In closing, three reasons as to why Paul’s admonishment to “Pay close attention toyourself…” is needed:

This concludes Part I of this post.  Please return for Part II in the next post.  Thank you!